I Think, Therefore I Act.
When we are confronted, often we feel threatened, disrespected, rebellious, vindictive, scared or defensive. Our actions are framed by our thoughts. If we have these thoughts, they have the potential to harm others physically, emotionally, and financially.
Change the Thought, Change the Behavior.
When we change how we think we change how we act. Tools for changing our thinking include thinking about the other person, or empathy.
What I do When I get Angry. When we get angry, if we trace it back, what we find is some sort of fear. When faced with someone who is angry, if we can change the way we think about the person, we will act differently.
Different Forms of Anger.
Anger can be expressed in aggressive behaviors such as rage, intimidation, or in passive- aggressive behaviors such as irritation, sabotaging or undercutting.
Fear is an Ally.
If I am aware of what the fear is, the fear becomes my ally. Instead of acting on the fear, I recognize it, and that leads to a change in thinking.
Cost of Anger.
When we write down what the cost of anger is, we see that the price is too high. This is a first step toward change.
Acknowledging our Fears.
Acknowledging our fears is not a weakness; it is a strength because when people know who you are, they don’t expect what you can’t give, and may be able to help.
When unrealistic expectations are not met, remember, F-E-A-R: False Expectations Appearing Real
Seeing life as it is can help us do the best we can and avoid fear, anger, and irritation.
Reversing the Fear/Anger Spiral.
Change is possible. If we work toward not reacting with anger, then we become more content, effective, and compassionate to the people we love.